Please give honest feedback. Don’t be afraid to be critical. It can be anonymous.
• What were your feelings when watching this video or these videos?
• And your thoughts?
• Did you see yourself in what Nuñez expresses?
• What do you think of Cristina Nuñez as an artist?
• And as a person?
• Would you choose her as a partner? Why?
• Do you think she’ll find her partner this way? Why?
• What advice would you give her?
• Tell us about your own love stories.
• Tell us about your wishes and desires, concerning love.
• Would you like to search your perfect partner like Nuñez?
Ayer vi en ARTE Lo spuentes de Madison, que es una peli un poco cursi, Meryl Streep, casada y con hijos, ve aparecer un dia a Clint Eastwood en su jardin, y pasan juntos 4 dias que van a cambiar sus vidas, a un momento dado le dice “cuando estoy contigo me siento otra y al mismo tiempo me siento mas que nunca yo misma”… el acierto de Clint Eastwood es que se le ve llorar a él también, él que va siempre de vaquero indestructible… tu proyecto Cristina habla de muchas comas para una mujer que ha pasado recientemente los 50, época de plenitud y a la vez de inicio de cuenta atras, pero también es extensible a los hombres…
hace poco lei “Love again” de Doris Lessing, una directora de teatro que se enamora a los 66 anos de dos hombres mas jovenes con trasfondo de historia de amor decimononica que esta llevando a escena… la protagonista se habia cerrado a todo sentimiento 20 anos atras y no pensaba que volveria a sentir emociones tan crueles y tan intensas al llegar a la vejez, les habia cerrado la puerta y se dio literalmente un portazo, al mismo tiempo enamorarse es decir “sigo viva”, lo que en estas fechas en Paris cobra un significado muy concerto, para volver a la vulnerabilidad…
Voglio risponderti con una poesia a me molto cara. E non so se questo potrà rispondere alle tue domande. Non so se è giusto “cercare” l’amore. Penso che debba essere praticata una consapevolezza di profonda intima libertà, un’accoglienza totale. Allora si, questo è amore.
Non ci sono uomini poco interessanti.
Sono i loro destini storie di pianeti.
Tutto, nel singolo destino, è singolare
E non c’è un altro pianeta che gli somigli.
Ma se qualcuno è vissuto inosservato
– e di questo si è fatto un amico –
tra gli uomini è stato interessante
anche col suo passare inosservato.
Ognuno
Ha un mondo misterioso
Tutto suo.
E in esso c’è l’attimo più bello
E l’ora più angosciosa,
solo che noi non ne sappiamo niente.
Se muore un uomo,
con lui muore
la sua prima neve, il primo bacio,
la sua prima battaglia…
E tutto egli porta via con sé.
Restano, è vero, libri e ponti
Macchine e quadri. E’ destino
Che molto rimanga, eppure
Qualcosa se ne va lo stesso.
E’ la legge di un gioco spietato:
non muoiono uomini,
ma interi mondi.
Ricordiamo gli uomini, terrestri e peccatori.
Ma, in sostanza, che ne sapevamo di loro?
Che ne sappiamo di fratelli e amici?
Che ne sappiamo del nostro unico amore?
E anche di nostro padre, sapendo tutto,
noi non sappiamo niente.
Gli uomini passano…
Ed è impossibile richiamarli in vita.
Impossibile risuscitare i loro mondi misteriosi.
Ma ogni volta desidero ancora
Gridare
per questa irrevocabilità
Evgenij Aleksandrovič Evtušenko
sigo con Los puentes de Madison… Clint Eastwood le dice a Meryl Streep que en la vida solo una vez tienes la certeza absoluta que la persona que amas es la definitiva y la unica que amaras asi jamas
¡Vaya proyecto tan complejo y peculiar! ¿Dónde está la realidad y dónde la ficción? No importa. En cualquier caso, tienes unos ovarios bien puestos, Cristina. Vas a por todas. Eres buena fotógrafa; te desenvuelves bastante bien con tu discurso verbal; te muestras -parece ser- muy natural, enseñas tus emociones con plena libertad. Y estás provocándote -provocándonos- una aventura compartida desde la máscara de la pantalla. Es otra manera. Otras van a sentarse en un sillón a hacer-recibir terapia. Lo que tú has elegido es otra opción, perfectamente válida, supongo: el integrar emociones y trayectoria vital con una determinada manera de llevarlo a lo artístico. Adelante. Tienes madera. Cada cual ha de encontrar su vía… Tenemos todo el derecho.
Pero te sugiero -¿aquí entraría la ficción?- que no busques tanto fuera de ti; que no esperes nada de nadie para sentirte bien. A nuestra edad no es muy sano buscar relaciones de dependencia emocional para sentirnos relativamente bien. Te sugiero que te mimes mucho a ti misma, que te quieras mucho, que te cuides tú solita, que te trabajes tu autosuficiencia emocional, que te bastes a ti misma, sobre todo. Esto es lo más importante. Y que entres en tu interior, como en una especie de viaje espiritual. Que te aceptes como eres y/o como irás siendo a lo largo de la vida. Porque nosotros mismos somos una aventura. Nunca nos acabamos de conocer. Y esto es emocionante: el sentirnos abiertos a la aventura de la vida, pero con nuestros propios cimientos bien puestos. Sin ser débiles ni inseguros.
Que seas honesta contigo misma. Y estés satisfecha con lo que haces, independientemente de si eso trasciende o no. Es decir, satisfecha con tu proceso, más que con el resultado de ese proceso. Porque nosotros podemos controlar el proceso, pero no los resultados. Y en la aventura del proceso está la gran creatividad. En el proceso honesto, haciendo lo que sentimos que debemos hacer.
Y si en esta trayectoria de vida y de creatividad encuentras una persona de la que te enamoras, y eso te sigue permitiendo ser tú misma y seguir gestionando tu libertad, pues el resultado aparecerá por su propio peso.
Otro asunto de ficción: ¿Y si aprendiéramos a dejar nuestro YO tranquilo, en un espacio que no nos interfiera? ¿Y si aprendiéramos a vaciarnos y andar ligeras de equipaje…? ¿A respirar pausadamente, a observar el mundo sin ser interferido por nuestra propia imagen?
Podrías jugar a ser medium entre tú y el mundo. Para no saturarte a ti misma.
Un besazo sonorovisual.
I found Cristina Nunez’s videos very moving, very raw and very beautiful. She expresses such a range of emotions, and human contradictions, that we all share: she shows her vulnerability and her strength, her longing to be seen, but is very self-critical at times. She has confidence and doubts. She comes across, especially in “Uncool,” as a strong, liberated artist, however, she still believes that she’s “uncool,” in the artist community.
Her vulnerability is universal, and anyone watching these videos can find something to relate to. She is interested in her own pain, expressing it, and (obviously) interested in the responses of others. She’s looking for a lover who she can be raw with, and have strong communication and fun with. She says that ‘she’s not interested in people who turn away from their pain.’ For Cristina, pain is an essential part of who she is, and she won’t brush her pain under the rug, to put on a smiling mask. However, even exploring the depth of her depression and pain in “Alone” she smiles; she knows that she’ll be OK whether or not she finds the lover she’s looking for.
She understands how she can live in the world, and people can learn from these videos, that even on the verge of despair, you must feel it, but not ‘drop down’ into it.
I loved the beauty in many of these photos; in “why this project’ she looks like she’s actually showering in sunlight, giving her an ethereal quality.
Her strength still shines through, even when describing the pain of the devastating losses she’s endured. Part of the beauty of self-exploration in this way is that, intentional or not, her quiet strength will be apparent to anyone.
I think the right, brave man who sees these videos will be the perfect partner for Cristina. This person must be self-aware, and able to explore their own pain, and be communicative, and loving of course. We can certainly relate to her search for a lover, the feeling of being alone and in despair, and sometimes, the joy and gratitude we feel for finding that special person, who we can share a life with.
I am nowhere at the point to share my deepest pain in the public way that Cristina does, but I admire it. At the end, she says that she wants to be useful to society, and there are many lessons we can take away from this public art project. The universality of emotional pain and longing is certainly one of them.
•
It’s 3 PM and my desk is littered with cigarette butts. I have just started a self portrait project on being alone and I stumble upon Christina Nunez who so effortlessly mirrors myself. I am a 25 year old female living in the Philippines, hundreds of miles away, yet I cannot escape this feeling of a shared mutual understanding. As love stories go, I have had dozens. Each tug at my heart with different shades of emotions that make up who I am today. Anger, despair, regret, abandon, fulfilment, surrender…
In my eternal quest to find love I have decided to forget it and in turn search for me – the me that I have lost in the process, the me that I have forgotten, the me that I have not loved.
I hope you find your true love, and in the dark seedy motel rooms of Manila, I hope I find what is left of me.
Ciao Cristina. Ti ammiro per il coraggio e la speranza che riponi in questo video verso l’amore ideale. Ne respiro la delicata disperazione che mi risuona ai limiti della rinuncia.
• What were your feelings when watching this video or these videos?
Like watching furtively someone’s intimacy: I feel the pain of the person who I am watching and, at the same time I feel embarrassed about her.
• And your thoughts?
Why is she doing that? Is it necessary, does it heal anything?
And also: is it a caricature of a possible enlightenment? A caricature of our expectations about what a radical change in our lives might bring about?
And finally: is she exagerating everything to, actually, hide herself better? (Although it seems she is showing her most inner feelings! That might be a great paradox, that when you try to show the most is when you hide yourself better..)
• Did you see yourself in what Nuñez expresses?
I see anybody.
• What do you think of Cristina Nuñez as an artist?
What would she do without her pain? She seems to need it to DO.
• And as a person?
I don’t see the person, only a caricature of someone who is searching desesperately.
• Would you choose her as a partner? Why?
No, because I am not looking for a partner.
• Do you think she’ll find her partner this way? Why?
Probably there will be someone who wants to live a great story and film it. Someone will appear. Are you going to stop when you find someone?
• What advice would you give her?
Tarot says:
You’ve been searching for some kind of ideal perfection, trying to moderate yourself, and now you want a total revolution in your world and your way to relate to ti. In this case, love is only one of the unresolved matters to achieve that revolution, the other one is your own spiritual crisis. You must try to reconcile both ways to get what you really want.
• Tell us about your own love stories.
No
• Tell us about your wishes and desires, concerning love.
No
• Would you like to search your perfect partner like Nuñez?
No
The Young Lover video is exactly what I needed today.
It is 10:00 pm and it just put the first smile on my face for the day.
I just lost the man who I thought was the love of my life to unknown reasons and the more I try to make sense of things the deeper the grief I feel.
I have been stuck in this never ending cycle for 3 months now and I am unable to get answers.
I have lost faith in love, in people, in myself.
This video gave me a sense of freedom, a sense of hope.
I also feel that I may be taking things too seriously and should lighten up a little.
These feeling might not last, but I am just grateful to be feeling this way at this moment.
Thank you again Cristina, for bringing some brightness into my life when I feel completely surrounded by darkness.
The Young Lover video is exactly what I needed today.
It is 10:00 pm and it just put the first smile on my face for the day.
I just lost the man who I thought was the love of my life to unknown reasons and the more I try to make sense of things the deeper the grief I feel.
I have been stuck in this never ending cycle for 3 months now and I am unable to get answers.
I have lost faith in love, in people, in myself.
This video gave me a sense of freedom, a sense of hope.
I also feel that I may be taking things too seriously and should lighten up a little.
These feeling might not last, but I am just grateful to be feeling this way at this moment.
Thank you again Cristina, for bringing some brightness into my life when I feel completely surrounded by darkness.
Dear Cristina,
Thanks for sharing apart of your life with us.
Love is everywhere around you. maybe, try to be a better listener to see love.
Wishing you all the best with your project, enjoy the experience and try to show us a large image of you not only a closeup.
All the best,
Carole
• What were your feelings when watching this video or these videos?
interesting and entertaining. watched them like intelligent and melodramatic monologues
• And your thoughts?
more feelings than thoughts
• What do you think of Cristina Nuñez as an artist?
She has a deep personality and her thoughts are interesting but visual part could be more diverse
• And as a person?
I don’t know her
• Would you choose her as a partner? Why?
No. I am heterosexual woman
• Do you think she’ll find her partner this way? Why?
Sure. She is an attractive woman and has a curious personality so it is going to work.
• What advice would you give her?
To keep on trying!
• Tell us about your own love stories.
At the momemnt I am together with my partner for four years. And it is because we love each other.
• Tell us about your wishes and desires, concerning love.
To be able to feel love as long as I live
• Would you like to search your perfect partner like Nuñez?
No. I have already found one.
What is old?
What is beautiful?
What is love?
What is real?
What is life?
What is nothing?
What is what?
You don’t need me to answer all these questions.
I really like your project and hope you find what you are looking for. I think you’ll do it.
I felt peace watching your videos.
If I had to define yourself in just one word it would be [authentic].
Good luck.
For me, knowing Cristina myself and having participated in this project. It is first of all very hard for me to be impersonal in commenting this project. Perhaps I am far from being a material to be Cristina’s lover, and for that Cristina – You have never been rage, angry or so demanding in front of me as you have been a kind person to me as my landlord, my friend, my client and my photography mentor,etc. WHY WHEN YOU SEE YOURSELF AS A LOVER, YOU HAVE TO BE SO SHIT? You exaggerated it, didn’t you?
For me, seriously, if what you depicted yourself in this project is the TRUE YOU. I cannot take a lover like you 🙂 How can I leave a bomb in my home everyday and don’t know when it explodes. Some people may find it fun though. Love to me is a positive energy to be created with effort and for that commitment comes into play. Seemingly in your case, you just keep looking for a perfect partner that can take you unconditionally. So you will pass all your inner negative energy to your partner, so he has to do another project to release his inner sufferings.
What is permenant is impermanence. Me and my ex-girlfriend Cynthia participated in #1 as the counter example of your failure of love at the time we were deeply in love. Now that is history. We broke up for quite some time and we both have our new life and never see each others again. Yet your video has recorded that as a historic moment that is timeless.
What comes to my head is the status that you are looking for a lover is actually very great for you as an artist because those feeling inside you creates infinite energy and intention to keep this project running. What if one day you find a person who is your perfect partner. This project will be close. There is this very subtle tension which is very beautiful I can see that the goal of this project is contradictory to the aim of this project. Beautiful self-destructive project!
All the Best,
Arco
Thank you Cristina to answer my reply personally and in no time. That was great and that made me think a little bit more and have to speak up here again. Say #2 🙂
Everyone does have his/her own typhoon, hurricane and earthquake deep inside. It is a matter of ways how one to express the feeling and release it, same to the positive emotions. I have to congratulate you Cristina because you are able to 1. See your own emotions very clearly. 2. Have ways to play with it. 3. Record it and use it as the inspiration of your artwork.
For me, I relate a big portion of your works as meditation because when you take a close look at yourself through self-portrait, daily life video clips, sounds, voices, etc. For all these items, you take a close look with your presence of awareness. This project, instead of say looking for your lover, I would say it is more looking at yourself – to see who you really are! That lover has been imaginative so far.
Here is a story from my meditation teacher. Once he found it hard to continue to meditate inside the mountain because there are no more feeling on which he can meditate. Then he went to a small village to make a mess… yell at people, throw things around until the villagers start to scold at him, beat him and expel him. After that he gets more spiritual material to carry on his meditation works. This project you have been working with this feeling about love inside. No matter that is sweetness, rage, anger, hope, despair or etc you gather them up inside you , then you release them all together as a video.
I myself as an artist have also been and necessarily sensitive to all these stuff and to embrace them as the inspiration of my artworks. However when it comes to relationship, I always feel like that has to be similar to latin dance / ballroom dance. Both the male and female dancers have to stand up by themselves. The dance starts and they interacts with beautiful tension in between. If the dance starts with either one of them keep falling, and the other partner a professional dancer. This dance is but a waste of time.
I have no doubt you are a great artist and mediator. This part stays with love, yourself , the ideal world.
I doubt if you can be a good latin dancer 🙂
Best,
Arco
Dear Christina,
finally, I sit here and watch your collection of videos that you made and posted on your website.
I did not watch all of your videos until now, but I think I picked a lot of different ones that gave me a good overview.
Overview of what, I had to ask myself. The answer is maybe not important. But for me, your work is kind of a personal diary, a kind of blog, a kind of exhibition, a kind of installation, art and therapy all together.
The first reaction that reached my brain when I watched the first movies and before, when I saw the catalogue of all the movies in front of me, was refusing to want to watch more of them. At the same time, there was some curiosity, attached to the beauty of your pictures, that didn’t let me go.
Why refusal? Well, I think in times of selfie-mania all over the internet, I am kind of annoyed by the exhibitionistic people all around that need to show their faces in the „mirror“ of the internet, where the whole world comments on them and judges over them without knowing the person behind.
Also, I might have felt repelled by the sadness of the videos in the first place. There was this person – you – that I did not know and that just told me all this very personal feelings that I suddenly had to deal with.
I do not have lots of experience in this kind of projects, so for me it is somehow the first encounter with this form of art or whatever you would like to call it.
But finally I felt touched by it, by you being honest and so open. And I felt somehow connected to you, even that I never experienced the things you mentioned. I think in some points, everyone can understand your approach from its own point of view. I guess a lot of people (if not all) are seeking love. The one person that knows them and accepts them as who they are. So I like the idea of getting literally „naked“ in front of the audience, making a real soul-strip so that the possible „lover“ would not buy (as we say in german) the cat in the sack and knows who he/she is dealing with in advance.
I understand perfectly when you say in that one video, that you feel better after your project got on for a while. I got a similar feeling when I wrote a diary and reflected my emotions on paper. I felt so light weighted, to get all of that things off my chest and to be able to focus on new things or me as a person. I guess in those moments, the goal is for me, to achieve to be the best me I could possibly be. And in the end, this is the person that will be loved by someone that sees this evolution and efforts and struggling and sees not a surface of a person but the person itself.
I guess your project made me think a lot, which is a good thing.
There is one other thing I thought of, which was: what about your privacy? The internet is a big space where everything and nothing happens. In times where everyone is fighting data protection etc., I find your project a brave thing to do in a way. (Not mentioning, that the whole thing is brave of course!)
Okay, where are we now? I was told to criticize and to tell my opinion. Did I? I guess so.
I now have only one wish left for you: that you find comfort with the person you are and then meet a person to truly love that loves you like you do the other way round!
Best Juliette
No es la primera que te debo una carta porque me cuesta pensar que esto te pueda interesar a ti o a alguien, yo mostrando mis vergüenzas o mi ignorancia.
La primera vez que hablaste sobre “La vie en rose” en uno de tus cursos pensé: Te equivocas Cristina, ¿qué haces buscado un amor ideal? pensaba que tenías superados esos idealismos (tiene delito que yo diga esto que siempre anhelo encontrar el equilibrio inexistente). Pero por otro lado te considero una persona maravillosamente iluminada y capaz de cumplir tus propósitos, tocada por la genialidad, para mi, tienes una vida fuera de lo común, esto siempre me motiva a ver que hay otras maneras de vivir (a mi que me han educado en base al trabajo y al esfuerzo y he sido un fraude), saber de tus proyectos siempre me oxigena cuando mi vida me asfixia, como escuchar las canciones de Javier Krahe.
Cuando vi el video “Trilogía”, hace más de un año, me sentí un como en casa, me decía con una sonrisa en los labios susurrando. Esta situación yo ya la he vivido. ¿Si esto es lo peor de ti? no es para tanto, lo que muestras lo he vivido yo mismo y cosas mucho peores, no sentí lástima ni vergüenza ajena, te vi muy humana. Me sentí identificado por una parte como individuo pero en mayor medida me identificaba como pareja de una persona que vive los momentos difíciles de la misma manera y he acompañado esos sentimientos. Siempre me parecido que hablar sobre la debilidad, el trauma o la enfermedad, no era algo que se debía esconder en lo más íntimo, me gusta escuchar, no se porqué la gente tiene miedo a decir que uno está enfermo. Quien se incomoda y rechaza es porque también le duele, pero no puede o quiere sentir.
Me alegro de que hallas empezado a sentir nuevas maneras de amar y ser amada. Que envidia (sana). Se contagia la sonrisa y el amor que irradiáis, me encanta.
Yo tengo problemas para relacionarme con la gente, necesito la aprobación de los demás, tengo una imagen distorsionada de lo que ocurre a mi alrededor y pero también se que asusto a los demás, que no se me entiende, me pormenorizan, me infantilizan. Me lo han dicho de una u otra manera, han bromeado con ello y lo he visto en sus ojos. Por otro lado también tengo un lado narcisista y en parte exhibicionista también, con un sentido del ridículo bipolar, soy muy vulnerable. Menudo cuadro…
Mi relación contigo
Desde que nos conocimos en persona, me pareció casi un milagro, eres una persona muy abierta y cercana, muy generosa (algo que a mi me cuesta ser), pero todo esto arroja una gran sombra sobre mi. Me gustaría tener amigos de verdad (amigos propios), me gustaría ser tu amigo, pero no me siento a tu altura, no se cual es mi lugar ¿tengo un lugar?
Necesito mucho amor de los demás, ¿quien van a querer dármelo? Una amiga me explicó que al nacer su hija tuvo que estar en la incubadora durante muchas horas puede que más de un día y que al poder volver a estar juntas, mamó durante mucho tiempo sin soltarse y que no se separó de ella durante más de 24 horas de piel con piel, me siento con necesidad de un largo abrazo, de afecto, de llorar de soltar, de que me escuchen horas y horas, puede que sea más de lo que nadie esté dispuesto a darme nunca. Ahora siento ganas de llorar y se me humedecen los ojos.
Hablar de ti está mal visto, escribir estas líneas es un secreto, porque me puede costar una bronca desproporcionada, ya ha ocurrido en otras ocasiones. Es una infidelidad, es como hablar de “la otra”. Hablar de ti y lo que haces provoca tensión y silencio. Vernos es impensable.
¿Y yo ahora porqué te explico todo esto? No se si debería escribir estas cosas en público, pero creo que son reflexiones que tu persona/tu obra desencadenan.
Puede que mañana quiera borrarlo todo y no dejar huella de lo que he expresado o continúe escribiendo, espero que si 🙂
Un abrazo.
Cristina Nuñez tu sei incredibile e meravigliosa con in il tuo progetto scavi nel buio del l’ interiorita umana per far affiorare una luce pulsante di vita che irradia l’ espressione e la vita …. love you grazie per la tua arte happy new year Domenico *♡* ti dedico un mio aforisma Il tempo non potrà mai nulla contro La bellezza che abbiamo dentro…sei grande e ti rinnovo la mia ammirazione *♡*
• What were your feelings when watching this video or these videos?
amusement,
amusement, sadness,
amusement, sadness, curiosity,
amusement, sadness, curiosity, hope,
amusement, sadness, curiosity, hope, anger,
amusement, sadness, curiosity, hope, anger, inspiration
• And your thoughts?
-The honesty coming from her voice makes it even addictive. Once I started to watch videos, I just couldn’t stop it.
-Great montage! Videos are full of temp mort that on one hand builds suspense, on the other gives opportunity to rethink the image.
-Very strong, beautiful pictures that push a viewer even to a deeper reflection
• Did you see yourself in what Nuñez expresses?
Yes, after watching the movies I started to imagine situations from my past in which I would like to take an auto-portray of myself.
• What do you think of Cristina Nuñez as an artist?
Christina seemed to be an honest person for who uses art as a tool to solve mystery of herself. Her autoportraies reminds me of puzzles that she collects to built a bigger piece out of it.
• And as a person?
Normally it’s really hard to answer such a question without getting to know sb in person. However, in this case I have a feeling that the artists really tries to open herself without playing roles.
On one hand she reveals a lot of things from her private life. On the other, she is full of mysteries and built curiosity around her person.
She is not only opened but made a peace with herself. Otherwise, she wouldn’t be able to say out loud about her inner problems, family’s secrets, hurtful moments and failures.
• Tell us about your wishes and desires, concerning love.
I wish I could say goodbye right away when I feel like it. (to be with someone because of the present, but not because of the past feeling).
• Would you like to search your perfect partner like Nuñez?
I hope I had already found one.
I feel very grateful for your work, although we never met and you don’t know anything about me yet, I felt so many emotions during this journey with you through your videos.I sorrowed and smiled, and cared for you more and more with each video, it has been a very valuable and important experience for me.
what I liked most about your work is your honesty, showing and accepting your emotions, being real and true to yourself. It made me trust you and earnestly care for you.
this feeling of intimacy with a person I never met, I felt it before with my favorite writers, feeling like I know them, I think it is so powerful! so powerful to achieve this as an artist. so powerful and brave to open up to true encounters. such a great act of rebellion against the “dating” sites and techniques, the shallow advertisement text people write in order to sell themselves on the “love market” as beautiful and perfect with photoshop portraits of themselves.
“la vie en rose” made me wonder about intimacy. about feeling “connected” to somebody. I realized many of my loved ones never shared so much intimate things as you, and although I never met you, I feel so close to you at the moment. It made me reflect about what a “true encounter” means to me, about my expectations about intimacy in relationships. it made me want to open up. made me want to scream “don’t be afraid to love and be loved!” to everybody I met after watching your videos!
I realized I never allowed me to fully dream and think about what kind of “love” I wanted. I always stop myself as soon as I start, thinking I’m unrealistic, too demanding, that I can only be disappointed and that it won’t last anyway. I always think I am the one that must change and learn to love less, not to scare people off with my flood of emotions. what a joyful comforting feeling to know somebody else has a yearning too for really true intense caring honest loving relationships and that every emotions is welcome and even necessary to get to know somebody, to achieve a feeling of intimacy.
for the question would I choose you as a partner, I believe I would. I do feel trust, esteem, affection. I guess these are important feelings to build true relationships.
if I think your can find partners this way, I think so. I certainly think people you meet with this project will be more interested in knowing you really and accepting you with everything you are as if you had put an add on a random date website.
for advice, I don’t think you need any.
about my own love stories: I relate to what you said about people not accepting your emotions. I always felt like my emotions were “too much” and I that wanted too much out of life and love. I scare people by giving too many presents, writing too many letters, saying too often “I love you”. many people told me they were uncomfortable. the first men I had sex with on my “free will” and without it being a way to have money, a place to spend the night or to get food, they had a girlfriend or a wife and didn’t want to get involved, so there was no room for my loving. I had a monogamous relationship for a few years with a man but I kept falling in love with girls and felt guilty about it because he would notice by the way I looked at them. when I felt a huge love for a girl I left everything, I felt it was like a revelation, I was so in love, I felt like I was on drugs. I told her my feelings but she rejected me. It felt so wrong. My love was so big and beautiful, it felt so wrong that it could be rejected. it hurt me a lot and I kept wondering what would have happened if I had been a man, if it would have made a difference. I have been in 2 polyamorous relationships with a girl and a transgender person. both were bewildered and defiant at my love outbursts. one said that he felt guilt because he felt unable to give me back as much love as I was giving. One couldn’t understand I could love her so much and said I didn’t know her and loved my fantasy of her. there is some truth in that, being in love changes your perceptions and is certainly not a objective way to get to know someone. but I think there is no objective way to get to know somebody anyway! I don’t think that when you’re in love you invent things about somebody, everything you feel is real, being in love is just a wonderful way of seeing the best somebody can be.
my wishes and desires: I don’t think I know them very well yet. I want true intimate relationships, with respectful, reliable, honest, playful, passionate, loving people.
would I search my perfect partner this way? mmmh I don’t believe in “one” perfect partner. nor in “perfect”. I do wish to have a few meaningful honest true relationships in my lifetime. about this method, I don’t know. I have to think about it.
thank you Cristina for existing <3!
• What were your feelings when watching this video or these videos?
I didnt feel an emotional bonding to what I saw, but I think the way how the artist tries to express herself is interesting.
• And your thoughts?
The internet as a platform to find love (or a lover) has increased the last year. I kind of saw these videos as a reflection or a new approach to it. It seems as if the artist forms her own personal brokerage event with very intimate content.
• Did you see yourself in what Nuñez expresses?
I see parts of herself as a staged production.
• What do you think of Cristina Nuñez as an artist?
The video performances show some very imtimate parts of her personality (or at least try to). The artwork „La Vie en Rose“ as a concept to find a lover is interesting. But I have to admit that I had a problem with the exposing character of the videos. There is no real distance to the video-diary with parts/thoughts about her life so this makes me kind of uncomfortable because I do not know the person/artist.
• And as a person?
I dont know her.
• Would you choose her as a partner? Why?
I am a gay male. So: no.
• Do you think she’ll find her partner this way? Why?
I have really no idea if that what she is looking for will be found by this art project.
• What advice would you give her?
I do not feel comfortable to give any advices.
• Tell us about your own love stories.
• Tell us about your wishes and desires, concerning love.
• Would you like to search your perfect partner like Nuñez?
No.
Bonjour Cristina,
Quand j’ai regardé ces vidéos, je me souviens que j’ai trouvé la présentation plutôt intéressante et bien. Par contre, au bout d’un moment, je me suis posée la question de savoir si le côté très émotionnel et en fragilité de la formulation de la demande n’était pas un peu trop.
En France, les femmes ne sont pas aussi entreprenantes avec les hommes qu’en Allemagne ou peut-être même en Espagne. Mais au moins, cela a le mérite de montrer que l’artiste que tu es n’a pas froid aux yeux.
Je trouve évidemment le projet “culotté” et audacieux et, en même temps, tellement génial car cette performance artistique, si je puis dire, vient vraiment interroger les relations de rencontre qui se multiplient via les nombreux sites web de manière cachée alors que là, justement, c’est rendu totalement et tellement public (sans passer par des mots de passe et des pseudonymes ou multiples profils).
Cela vient questionner la marchandisation des relations amoureuses sur le web.
Sur le net, le droit à l’oubli par rapport aux informations qu’on poste n’existe pas. Le net est le producteur et pourvoyeur génial et inquiétant du big dat et de cette somme d’informations sur laquelle nous ne pouvons plus agir ensuite et qui fait le beurre de nombreuses personnes.
Une vidéo porteuse de vérité et d’authenticité comme celle-ci vient peut-être aussi interroger la mémoire virtuelle que nous laissons tous derrière nous, avec ou sans pseudonymes. Que diront tes petit-enfants quand ils trouveront cette vidéo sur le net à l’avenir?
Mais sinon, plus prosaïquement, rechercher à nouveau l’amour, pouvoir ressentir les effets de cette recherche, les doutes et les troubles que cela implique, les surprises et le bonheur de ressentir l’effervescence de ses 15 ans, redevenir adolescente en quelques sorte, j’aimerai bien moi aussi !
Des fois, je regarde passer les jeunes hommes autour de moi et je me dis humm ça serait bien de… à quand s’autoriser l’amour libre une fois l’an quand on est en couple et en famille!? Je n’ai jamais réussi à avoir envie de me l’autoriser au même moment que mon compagnon?! Quand l’un le proposait à l’autre cette ouverture, le second disait non et inversement… du coup on ne l’a jamais expérimenté. Enfin je crois… en tout cas de mon côté, je suis toujours restée fidèle. Et dans ce cadre là, évidemment, la porte à tous les fantasmes est ouverte, nest-ce pas?
Il existe un petit village, je dirai une petite ville en Bretagne, Douarnenez, ou l’on dit que pendant une semaine au carnaval, chaque année, les habitants rentrent dans un délire complet, un lâchage total comme cela existait au Moyen Age. Et dans ce cadre là, tous les rôles assignés peuvent changer. Les hommes peuvent devenir des femmes, les femmes de hommes, la voisine coucher avec le voisin etc et au bout d’une semaine tout redevient normal.
On pourrait instaurer ce genre d’ouverture à ses désires les plus fous une fois par an! une bonne idée non?
des bises
• What were your feelings when watching this video or these videos?
I liked the artistic angle you chose. I found it original to show your inner weaknesses and fears when presenting yourself to a hypothetical lover, the opposite of established relationships. We are used to thinking that we should show the best in us in order to find love, to present a fake version of ourselves to appear more loveable and a better candidate. Then later we confront the inevitable disappointments, confrontations and disagreements with surprise and don’t really know what to do. Indeed, love is all, the good and the bad, the happiness and the pain.
• And your thoughts?
I did not understand this project as a realistic attempt to find true love, more like an artistic exercise. In a way, one cannot expect to show their true weaknesses to a lover, these come alone, with time. Just because you recognise some of your downsides does not mean you are showing all of them. Are we ever objective about ourselves? I doubt it, that is why I saw this more as an artistic expression than a true call for love.
• Did you see yourself in what Nuñez expresses?
In many ways yes. I also recognise the need to show my ugly insides and convey it through an artistic expression. I think it is brave and very interesting artistically.
• What do you think of Cristina Nuñez as an artist?
I really cannot say yet. I believe she is exploring the inevitable retrospective derived from growing old and she is doing something artistically significant from it.
• And as a person?
I don’t think I can judge her as a person from what I have seen so far. I could give qualities like honesty, intelligence, perseverance… but these are just impressions that could have nothing to do with reality. Even watching the videos I questioned at first if this was real or true at all. It would also be a very interesting project if it was all fake.
• Would you choose her as a partner? Why?
I can’t think why not. In my particular case I already am in love and I have never met Cristina in person so it is impossible for me to know.
• Do you think she’ll find her partner this way? Why?
I don’t think this is a question I can answer. To find love or anything in life there have to be a series of synchronical events and coincidences that give a direction to chaos. What I mean is that surely she can find love through this means, like any other means. On the other hand my own experience showed me that when I was least looking for love (or a partner) was when I found it, completely out of the blue. For this I prefer to leave these kind of things happen naturally, let life unfold in front of me, and even more in the case of “love”. I only mean this in my own experience and I don’t pretend to give advice on this matter, every person is an individual.
• What advice would you give her?
I’m sure she could give me more advice than what I could give her. Maybe I can just say what I said in the previous question; simply let things happen, with a positive outlook because I firmly believe good thoughts (or energy or karma or whatever we can call it) project good things. I don’t believe in karma in the way that good things happen to good people and the opposite but I do think good attracts good and vice-versa. I can “feel” Cristina has the right attitude and openness so I think it is likely that she finds someone that can love her the way that she needs.
• Tell us about your own love stories.
To be honest, I am a quite introverted person and I never talk about these things with people I don’t have enough confidence with, I hope no one takes it the wrong way.
• Tell us about your wishes and desires, concerning love.
I also wish to have love around me for the rest of my life and like most people I am also afraid to lose it at an old age, but I really wish to learn how to accept life as it comes and learn to love myself and others in an open and honest way.
• Would you like to search your perfect partner like Nuñez?
To be honest, not at all. To find love through an audiovisual medium is really not for me. I also work with video and sound and I see it precisely as a barrier between reality and myself. I don’t mean it is not honest, but to me it is never completely “real”. Love is possibly the most beautiful “real” thing one can find and I prefer to experience it as closely to my senses and my true being as I can, and that is in no way through audiovisual material. Nowadays love is often found through social media, which is in a way very similar to this project, and it works out great for many people but I personally prefer to detach myself from these new ways of communication, I even avoid having a Facebook or any other social media platform. On the other hand I know cases of people who have found “true love” through these means so… Good Luck!!
The feeling is of Honesty and Courage. Being courageous and honest in Life is a big challenge. Possibly it is “THE” big challenge. Being courageous and honest in Art is equally a big challenge. You are taking both.
I once red a definition of Art that sounds like “the way to imitate nature and its (its!) fenomenons artificially”. I do not absolutely agree. My own definition of Art is the way to take Spirit in Life, as humans. In this sense, your project is completely Art. But at the same time is also Life. I do believe, knowing you, that you definitely are this. Believing that this is a “performance” is far from you, far from Art and, at the same time, far from Life. Thank you Cristina. A great lesson about how to be artist and alive. – Vince
Hola, Cristina. La verdad es que encontré muy interesante La vie en rose, sobre todo por su frontalidad, quiero decir que apenas hay mediación alguna entre ti y el hipotético espectador. Creo que ya hablamos de esto cuando nos vimos, pero esto de hablar de uno mismo es también un poco lo que siempre me ha interesado investigar, mediante la escritura, y si hay algo que te frena o te hace sentirte inseguro es a menudo ese miedo al Otro, a qué pensarán, a pensar que eres un desastre y que tus razonamientos son lo peor, a dudar sobre si debes exponerte o no, todo eso. La verdad es que, luego, cuando te atreves, la respuesta que sueles obtener casi siempre es mucho más positiva de lo que creías. Últimamente, dándole vueltas a estas cosas, acabo pensando que no ya en el amor sino en el mero conocerse, en la comunicación, el hacerse amigo de alguien, está todo tan sujeto al azar y a las circunstancias y a que se alineen los planetas, que a veces es frustrante que cueste tanto llegar a conocer a alguien de verdad. Hay que superar muchos filtros y muchos temores para llegar a ese momento en el que te puedes abrir a la otra persona. En este sentido, no sé, encuentro muy honestos y sentidos los vídeos por el hecho de querer ser exactamente lo que son, no creo que traten de convencer a nadie de nada, más allá de constituir un grito que alguien lanza para ver qué ocurre. En mi caso particular, siempre he tenido una relación digamos extraña, descompensada, con mi cuerpo y mi aspecto físico: no es que yo me vea muy feo o muy anormal, estoy bastante acostumbrado a cómo soy, pero sin embargo (y no sé hasta qué punto esto es así) lo veo como un obstáculo de peso, como un inconveniente, a la hora de poder conocer a gente con la que, en un momento dado, te puedas plantear compartir algo, ya sea unas horas, una noche, un viaje, ya me entiendes. Es como que, de entrada, el físico ya me descarta. Y eso a veces sabe mal sobre todo con personas a las que te sientes cercano, que tienes afinidades y te gustaría hablar de ellas, que crees que vuestros gustos pueden encajar o simplemente te interesa su forma de ser, es como si ya impusieran una distancia al descartar de entrada toda posibilidad de un contacto físico. Tampoco estoy seguro de nada de esto, pero creo que a menudo las personas asociamos a las otras personas a una cierta idea de “aventura”, al hecho de que, aunque pueda no ocurrir nunca nada, existe como una porción de intriga, de riesgo, una curiosidad mínima que de alguna manera alimenta el deseo de ir viendo a esa persona. Si eso no existe, es como que, paulatinamente, pierdes el interés. O bien tu relación con esa persona deja atrás ese estadio y se configura una amistad sin misterios de esa índole. Sea como sea, me he encontrado con muy pocas personas que hayan querido atreverse a dar un paso hacia adelante en ese sentido conmigo, ni que fuera por la curiosidad o la estadística, el decirse “¿porqué no probar?”, y es algo que, con el tiempo, amarga un poco, el creer en la vida y en las personas pero que haya tan pocas que vayan a romper una lanza por ti en ese aspecto. Y el no saber nunca si quizá eres tú mismo que no se está explicando bien o no se está mostrando como debería mostrarse. Por eso encuentro valioso tu proyecto, porque a mí también me resultaría de lo más sano encontrar un poco la manera de decir todo esto que estoy soltando aquí, de comunicar de forma directa y sencilla todos mis miedos al respecto, exponiéndome a que un eventual interlocutor se sienta aludido de alguna forma y trate de iniciar un diálogo, que es el principio de todo.